HOW TO MAKE RELATIONSHIPS WORK

I always struggle to come up with introductions to my posts, so I’ll start by saying that I’m no relationship expert. I have been in a serious relationship for over seven years now and I have learnt a thing or two along the way. Obviously I know we all want different things in relationships and in life in general, so some of these points you probably won’t relate to. But I hope you find something in this post that helps you, even if it’s just seeing something from somebody else's perspective.

(Dress ASOS, Bikini Top Pretty Little Thing, Sunglasses Ray Ban, Sandals Havaianas)

MAKE THINGS CLEAR RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING
One thing I always made clear to Ricardo right from the start was that I did not want a relationship where you break up every time you get into an argument, and that I always wanted to split the bills together. I’ll go into more details about both these things in the a bit, but whatever it is you want or don’t want from a relationship, make sure that it is clear right from the very start.

BE HONEST
I bet you’re thinking ‘well, no shit Sherlock’ but really, be honest! Honest to the point where you might even hurt your partner. I have always told Ricardo everything. Back in our first year together I went away to Germany to do a training course, and on the last day me and my friends all went to a bar where our instructor was. My instructor came up to me and was asking how I found the whole training etc, when the whole bar started shouting ‘kiss, kiss!’ they all thought he had a thing for me, but truth is that he had a thing for everyone haha so he gave me a peck. It was meaningless and it was just a joke, but I told Ricardo straight away. I could’ve kept it to myself because he would never find out, but I wanted to tell him. And from that day onwards, Ricardo has never had trust issues, because he knows I will tell him absolutely everything. 

DON’T CONTROL THEM 
By this I mean so much! Don’t look through their phones behind their back, it’s tacky and it shows that you don't trust your partner at all. Don’t stop them being friends with the opposite sex! Ugh, I can’t tell you how much I get annoyed when couples aren’t allowed to have girl/boy mates. Ricardo has always been fine with me going out for drinks or dinner with male friends and I’ve always been ok with him doing the same. As long as you tell each other everything, it shouldn’t be an issue. Also, don’t tell them who they can and can’t be friends with! Ok look, basically what I’m trying to say is that if they’re gonna cheat on you, they’re gonna do it regardless of all your rules, so just let them run free.


HAVE TIME TO YOURSELVES
Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you need to be together all the time. Have time alone, or hang out with your friends without your partner there. Let them have time alone with their friends too! Obviously there will be days where you will hang out all together, but it’s important to have time away from each other. Also, it makes it more special when you are together again.

LET THEM LIKE SHIT ON SOCIAL MEDIA
I just had to take a deep breath for this one, because WHY is it an issue for your boyfriend to like another girls picture? Omg!! Seriously! I don’t get it?? Maybe I’m just a very chilled girlfriend, but I really don’t care if my boyfriend likes another girls picture. It’s only a picture. So many times I’m scrolling through Instagram and I see a hot girl and I go and show my boyfriend. I’m the kind of girlfriend that will tell her boyfriend to look when a fit girl walks by haha. If you’re secure in your own relationship, things like this shouldn’t come between you. 

SHOW EACH OTHER YOU CARE
I’ve lost count of how many amazing surprises Ricardo has done for me, especially when we were long distance. But it’s the things he does for me every single day that make me so incredibly thankful to have found someone like him. When I’m doing early shifts he'll wake up at 4am, make me breakfast while I do my makeup, packs my lunch for work, irons a shirt for me if I don’t have one already, and he drives me all the way to the airport. He’s been doing this for over four years! And I do the same for him - apart from drive him to work because I don’t have a license haha. It’s the small things that count. So yeah, just show each other you care, even if it’s just leaving a post-it note saying ‘good morning’.


TAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP SERIOUSLY 
With this I just mean respect each other, and don’t break up every time you disagree on something. I had this friend who was changing her relationship status on Facebook every time her and her partner got into an argument. I just think that if you have to constantly break things up, is it even worth being in the relationship? If you were married you wouldn’t be getting a divorce every five minutes, so why do it when you’re just boyfriend and girlfriend?

DON’T GO FOR THE FUCK BOYS
I knoooow! I’ve been there, we all want a bad boy in our life, but we are worth so much more ladies! Back in my teens I used to love the bad boys. I always wanted to be the girl that would tame them. What a loser. But luckily at 18 I realised I deserved better. You’re never going to have peace of mind, you’re never going to stop overanalysing things, you’re never going to stop playing games if you go for a bad boy. Just know your worth and know that you deserve to be treated like a fucking queen!

BE EQUAL
If you think you’re allowed to do something, make sure you’re ok with your partner doing it too. Also, make sure you split the bills. I know this might be a controversial topic, but I really do believe in sharing things. Of course it’s ok when you want to treat your partner to a nice meal, or they want to do the same for you, just don’t expect them to be paying all the time. Me and Ricardo have always split things, or if he treats me today, I’ll make sure to treat him tomorrow. 


There is so much more that goes into making relationships work, and like I said at the very beginning of this post, we all want and look for different things in relationships. But wether you agree or disagree with the things I mentioned, I hope you enjoyed reading it anyway.

Lots of love, SFS.

THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW BEFORE GETTING A FRINGE


The last time I had a fringe was back when I was 8 years old. I wouldn’t stop pestering my mum about it, so instead of taking me to a hairdresser she got out a pair of scissors and gave me a fringe. My mum isn’t a hairdresser, nor had she ever cut anyones hair before, so there wasn’t much technique involved. As you can imagine, eight year old me was far from impressed. I started crying, threw a tantrum and went around the house like a crazy person, looking for some clips so I could clip the fringe on the sides of my face. Ever since that day, I never thought about getting a fringe again, I was scarred for life haha. 

However, a couple of months ago I started becoming bored of my hair. You know when you just fancy a change? I needed one, big time! I made an appointment at my hairdresser and said that I wanted to go darker and that maybe I’d get a fringe too. I have to say, I was pretty nervous. I told her I wanted a thin, wispy fringe. Obviously it had been a minute since I had a fringe, so I didn’t want to go all out. She stood in front of me, and all I could see was hair falling on my lap, I had to tell her to let me see myself in the mirror before she continued haha, but I LOVED it immediately!!! It was such a big change! My boyfriend came to pick me up and he loved it straight away too. Sometimes a change in you hair can give you that extra confidence boost, and I definitely felt so much better after getting it done. 

Although I’m absolutely smitten with my hair, there were a few things I didn’t take into consideration or didn’t even think of before I got my hair chopped. So here are a few things I’ve learnt since having a fringe, and things you should be aware of if you’re thinking of getting one too.


YOU NEED TO WASH IT EVERY DAY
I’m a girl that washes her hair once or twice a week tops! Back in the day I couldn’t do this, but I’ve trained my hair well. So when I got a fringe I was baffled by the fact that I would have to wash it pretty much every day if I wanted it to look decent. It goes all over the place while you sleep, so when you wake up you either have to style it with a hot tool, or wash it. I usually have to do both.

YOU NEED TO GET IT TRIMMED EVERY MONTH
Obviously this will depend on how fast your hair grows and how short you cut your fringe to begin with. I like cutting mine pretty short because my hair grows super fast, so it avoids me going to the hairdresser so often. But yeah, regular trims are a thing, so you either learn how to cut your fringe yourself, or you’ll be paying someone to do it almost every month.

PREPARE TO LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT AT THE BEACH
I used ‘idiot’ for lack of a better word haha, but when you’re at the beach or by the pool and you want to get a tan, you will have to clip your fringe on top of your head. This used to look good on me when I had a long fringe, but at this short length, it looks pathetic LOL.

IF YOU HAVE WAVY HAIR, YOU’RE SCREWED
Yep, rain, beach or pool days will be your enemy if you have wavy hair, so you better get those beach selfies before going in for a dip! 

THE WIND IS YOUR ENEMY 
I will soon be sharing a post of all my picture fails while I was away in Kefalonia. The wind there was no joke in the evenings! If I didn’t have a fringe, most of the pictures would’ve come out pretty amazing, but with a fringe I just looked like Johnny Bravo or like a character in Dragon Ball. Not pretty!


Although these things all seem like cons, there are so many pros to having a fringe! You look younger which is reason enough to get one. You don’t need to worry about getting your eyebrows done, because no one can see them anyway. You can kind of hide behind the fringe when you get shy in certain situations, and it makes you look like a Victoria Secret model! Honestly, it gives you that model feeling :P

When was the last time you had a hair change?
Lots of love, SFS.

GUCCI SLINGBACK LOAFERS


Remember I mentioned that I had bought a new pair of designer shoes? Well, here they are! The Gucci slingback loafers. I was lusting after these for over a year ever since Lizzy mentioned them on her Youtube channel - as you can probably tell I’m having a bit of a girl crush on her at the moment. But as she mentioned back then, they were impossible to get a hold of. However, a couple of weeks ago I was browsing My Theresa when these just showed up! I couldn’t believe me eyes. Needless to say I bought them on the spot. Usually I’ll try to talk myself out of buying expensive shoes, but I knew how hard these were to find, so there was no time for hesitation.


I picked these up in my usual designer shoe size which is a EU35, and they fit true to size. Initially I was pondering sending them back and getting the 35.5 instead as my heel kind of stuck out a bit, but I decided against it, thank goodness! The leather is super soft and does give in slightly, so my feet fits in them a lot better now and my heel doesn’t hang out anymore - not that it was ever that bad to begin with. They’re beyond comfortable! Like, I know I say this about most of my designer shoes, but these are next level comfort. They’re just so easy to walk in, the leather is extremely soft, they gave me no blisters what so ever, and if you can’t already tell, I’m in love with them! 


I’m starting to sound like a broken record, but I’ve never been a flat shoes kinda girl, so even though I had my eyes on the Gucci loafers for ages (all the styles really), I never really knew how they would fit with my style and if I would get a lot of use out of them. But having had these for three weeks now, I can safely say that I am getting my monies worth. They go with every single outfit and because of the specific slingback style, they really add something special to a look too. I know that they are absolutely hideous (in the best possible way) and look like something my grandma would wear, but I just love them. I know that they won't be to everybody’s taste, but that’s what makes them so unique. They’re a very masculine shoe, but the fact that they’re quite narrow adds that touch of femininity. 


If you too have been on the fence about whether or not you should get them, I say go for it! Although Gucci has been all over social media in the past two years, these are still not done. Loafers are just a timeless shoe, so even when the Gucci hype dies down, you’ll still be able to wear them without the ‘fear’ of looking outdated - not that anyone would feel outdated wearing something so expensive.

One thing Lizzy always recommends in her videos and I completely agree with, is to get a rubber sole put on them. I made the mistake of wearing them out without getting the rubber soles done and the leather sole wore down quite significantly, not to mention they are incredibly slippery. I paid £20 to get mine done at Timpson, which wasn’t cheap, but it’s worth it to protect the longevity of your shoes. When you’re already spending so much on a pair of shoes, it’s good to know that you will have them for as long as possible. 


Hopefully I’ll get my boyfriend to take some snaps of me wearing these very soon and I’ll share a post on how I style them. 

Hope you’re all having a fab week so far. 
Much love, SFS.

FULL OF NOTHING


I’m currently sat on a plane on my way to sunny Greece, sipping on a fruity Rekorderlig cider. I love this brand of cider, it’s quite possibly my favourite. Me and Ricardo have five days off together so we booked a cheeky getaway. I made a few fashion purchases before coming out here, so I hope to take loads of pictures to share with you on the blog soon. I don’t really have a plan for this post, I just felt like writing something. I have been so busy and so tired lately, work is just taking over my life. I mean, at least I have a job right? There’s always a positive haha. I was planning on reading while I’m away, but silly sausage me forgot to bring the bloody book. Well done Sandra, well done. So I guess I’ll just have to settle for listening to music and sleeping on the beach... what an awful backup plan! :-P


Since I’m writing this random ass post, I might as well share my thoughts with you on the Pretty Little Liars finale because, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED? I have no words. For quite some time now I haven’t really enjoyed PLL, it just got to a point where it was very repetitive and the storyline was always pretty much the same. All these years of dedication to the show and what do they give us? A TWIN! An EFFING TWIN!! What the hell were they thinking giving Spencer a twin? To be honest though, I could’ve handled the twin a lot better if it weren’t for the fact that they gave her an accent!! That flipping accent, haha! I couldn’t tell if it was meant to be British or Australian at times. I was expecting A.D to be someone shocking, like one of the mums or one of the boyfriends, hell, even one of the liars themselves! I wanted it to be someone as shocking as when we found found out Mona was ‘A’. It was just such a let down. I already half expected it to be rubbish because of the whole Cece Drake ‘A’ bullshit reveal, but I somehow thought they would find a way to shock us in the finale.. well, I was wrong. So many unanswered questions too. Big, big let down. What are your thoughts on it?


Here a few pictures Ricardo took of me the other day. I was wearing Topshop jeans, a Pull & Bear grey tank top, a Tommy Hilfiger bomber jacket which is just my favourite piece of clothing right now! Gianvito Rossi Calabria courts and Celine sunnies. Very casual but dressed up thanks to the heels. Anyway, I’ll go now because this post was full of nothingness really haha. Hope you all had a great weekend. 

Lots of love, SFS.

© Sandra F. Silva

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